Thank you for your writing, it's amongst the most memorable/useful on the site for me. This one especially so, as I've been thinking about this topic for years now. After all, I was one of the hesitant youth, prodded and pulled to download snapchat and the rest, only to become utterly trapped by them like everyone else. You're right to describe remembering to remember as the sticking point. Despite feeling uneasy about all of this for as long as I have, maintaining my path out of the labyrinth has been well... anything but straightforward.
Here are some tools that have been useful to me.
"Your Life in Weeks" -- A calendar with circles representing each of the 52 weeks in the year (to be filled out as you age)
Screen Time Blockers -- An API that allows you to selectively block access to websites and apps
Meditation -- The act of ceasing to be identified with the currents of our minds
Exercise -- The best way of reconnecting to this carbon world of ours, and ourselves
Talking to Strangers -- It lifts my mood and reminds me that there's nothing if not other people
Going for Bike Rides/Runs -- I've learned a lot more about the place where I live by seeing it
Sex -- An oldie but a goodie.
Phone Calls -- I've been trying to call a loved one every weekend
A little ball of yarn -- The ancients knew spinning the yarn was the best way out of this maze!
“It isn’t important which things we do, only that we find some, that they re-embody us, enrich our shared lives, and return us to our ‘right minds’.” Caroline Ross
Allow yourself the freedom to live and be without a phone
Build in personal meetings with clients rather than online only interactions
Cycle instead of using a car to get a better sense of distance, time, and climate
Delete excess photos from your phone
Develop film yourself
Don’t link e-mail to your phone
Don’t own a TV
Get a dumb phone
Get a land line
Get a point-and-shoot camera/disconnected smartphone for taking pictures
Get a typewriter
Give up social media
Give your teens wisephones/ lightphones instead of smartphones
If using an iPad, restrict functionality (delete built-in apps, add screen time limits)
If you publish a digital magazine, provide printed copies
Keep a clock that makes audible sound (like ticking or hourly chime)
Keep a paper planner
Keep a white board calendar
Keep your living room free of a television
Leave your phone at home when you go out
Listen to music on CD or records
Live by natural time rather than clock time
Maintain a landline as stationary family phone
Make a physical photo album from a small selection of your digital photos
Purchase a print subscription to newspaper/magazine rather than digital
Reduce the number of apps on your phone
Refuse to use Amazon
Send letters to family and friends to share news and say hello instead of facebook etc.
Send voice messages to friends
Set specific hours for phone use
Spend time in tech-free spaces
Switch to a flip phone
Switch your phone to airline mode when walking
Use a film camera
Use a local ordinance survey map to walk public footpaths and countryside
Use a pocket note book as a planner instead of your phone
Use a radio in the car
Use a record player and listen to vinyl
Use a watch instead of your phone to tell time
Use an e-reader with a backlit screen (so as not to be distracted by the internet)
Use an old Polaroid to make photos
Use film for still photography
Use message apps on computer instead of smart phone to set boundaries
Use paper maps
Use paper maps when hiking or camping instead of GPS
Use portable CD players (found at thrift stores)
Use the “manual” rather than the automatic door entrance
Use Victorian-style “calling cards” to give to people to get in touch with you
Use video chat instead of texting
Watch movies on DVD
Write your grocery lists by hand instead of your phone
Bake bread
Bake intricate pastries
Bike
Build a chicken coop
Butcher your own meat
Buy beef directly from ranchers
Buy clothes second-hand
Buy from local shops
Buy produce directly from farmers
Buy shoes that can be mended
Carpool or take transit when possible
Compost and enrich garden soil both by hand and with compost tumbler – practice “worm husbandry”
Compost everything that can be composted
Cook from scratch
Crochet
Cross-country ski to the grocery store
Cycle – even when the weather gets cooler
Cycle a gearless bike
Cycle to work
Delve into handspinning
Don’t buy processed food
Don’t use a microwave
Eat more simply
Favor small, local businesses
Forage for food
Gather your own wood for the stove
Get meat directly from farmer
Go carless
Go fishing and hunting with your children
Grind coffee beans with a hand grinder
Grind your own wheat flour
Grow your garden from seed
Grow your own flowers for hand-cut bouquets
Grow your own food
Hand-sew
Hand-water your garden
Knead bread by hand
Knit
Knit in public while waiting
Learn to preserve food by canning
Line-dry your laundry
Make bread by hand
Make cultured dairy like kefir and yoghurt
Make fermented foods like sauerkraut or sourdough
Make jam
Make wine stomped by foot, fermented in vats, and processed with muscle power
Mend or alter clothes by hand
Milk goats
Minimize amount of heat so that attire is dependent on weather
Minimize the time you use artificial light
Pay cash whenever possible
Pick mushrooms and herbs
Process your own game meat
Produce your own food supply
Raise a kitten
Sew buttons back onto clothing
Sew your own clothes
Shop at a local market instead of superstores
Shop at brick and mortar stores
Slowly increase the amount and variety of food you grow
Smoke your own bacon
Start gardening
Take buses and trains
Use a backpack to carry food from grocery store
Use a camp wagon to walk to the grocery store
Use a cold box with cold blocks
Use a compostable toilet
Use a hand grinder for coffee
Use a push-powered mower
Use a scythe instead of a lawnmower
Use a wooden stove sauna
Use a woodstove to heat your home
Use an ax instead of a chainsaw
Use drop spindle to make yarn
Use gathered sticks and leaves to fire Kelly kettle for tea
Use natural materials in the home e.g. wear cotton, linen, wool, leather, glass containers
Use stairs instead of escalators
Walk barefoot
Walk everywhere
Walk to appointments if possible
Walk to the library, the co-op, the thrift store, wherever you can
Wash and card wool
Weave
Always carry a journal with you
Build a Little Free Library
Complete a daily (ink) drawing
Craft in public
Dance in community: polka, square dance, waltz, Virginia reel
Draft all essays on paper
Draw
Exchange letters with friends
Find books to read from free book racks at recycling depots, railway stations, etc.
Give handmade gifts for Christmas
Go to the library frequently for new reading material
Hand-write and hand-address Christmas cards
Journal in a notebook
Keep a Commonplace quote book as a standard reading habit
Keep a daily journal
Learn a language (such as Argentine Spanish)by talking to everyone you can, make notes in longhand, carry a book of verbs
Learn the tango
Listen to audiobooks
Make your own birthday cards for people
Make your own Christmas wreath/ Advent calendar
Paint
Play the guitar
Play the piano
Practice an instrument
Practice creative writing with pen and pencil
Practice pottery
Print out recipes and put them in a binder
Read books during commute
Read non-fiction and novels from earlier eras
Read old books
Read physical books
Read the newspaper in the library
Read tons of books
Reread books
Roll beeswax candles
Send Christmas cards
Sing in a choir
Sing in a local production
Sing long songs from memory
Sing traditional songs in groups (unaccompanied)
Smash coloured rocks to make ancient paints
Swing dancing
Switch to a fountain pen
Switch to writing by hand
Take client notes by hand
Teach yourself bookbinding
Thrift clothing
Try needle felting
Type a page a day on a manual typewriter
Upcycle garments, making them better
Use a cookbook instead of defaulting to recipes online
Use half-used paper (whenever possible) for notes
Use pencil or ink pens
Use reeds for quill pens and scrap metal for metal point drawing
Write a novella in longhand
Write ideas for online creative projects in a notebook before typing or editing
Hi, Gurwinder. Thanks for this marvellous essay. I think it might have been the economist Daniel Hahnemann on Desert Island Discs. I'm a primary teacher and I like philosophical puzzly questions. This question was : If you are told that you can go on the most wonderful dream holiday all paid for, but you would not be allowed to have any memories of it, would you go? Any thoughts?
Funny you mention this, as I touched on it in the original draft of this essay (I later had to cut it for concision). The question I originally posed was, if you could live forever, but only with a 5 second memory, would you take the deal? I anticipated that almost everyone would say no, because memory *is* life. Without it, even technically living forever is no life at all.
As I read this outstanding piece I couldn't help but reflect on how Substack Notes has morphed into exactly the type of social media that is TikTok and Facebook. Interesting and informative articles wrapped in re-stacks are interspersed with a plethora of memes and animal videos. While this keeps people on the platform, the trivia distracts readers (well at least me) from finding new writers. That, in turn, makes it ever more difficult for good writers, trying to make a living, from getting subscribers.
Do away with the app. You can get email notifications when articles you want to read are posted.
At least thats what i did. Other than articles, i dont go "out there" much at all. Bc i saw immediately what the app was doing, and i already knew it for the trash it is.
The 'Home' feed is bad (though still not nearly as bad as TikTok/FB), but the 'Following' one is much better, as it's only Notes by those you follow. However, Substack has programmed the App to always return to the 'Home' feed, ignoring my repeatedly set preference. I assume this is deliberate, and it really turns me off of Notes.
On the website, once you click on 'Following' it remembers the setting (if that's the way you last viewed it) when you come back, so I never have to see the rubbish unless I choose to.
This really nails it, Jim. I am so sorry to watch Substack descend, as all social media does, into garbage and jumble. Increasingly I have to shed the shit and find the gems. Eventually I suspect those of us who care enough will move on, and the next place will experience precisely the same thing. That said, I am planning more adventures instead of more scrolling.
Why move on to the next place just to watch it turn to shit? Maybe if you see a pattern, you can make choices to move yourself out of that pattern.
Js, theres more options than just "live life within the shit".
And the real gems arent found here or anywhere else online. Articles like this are just reminding us of what we already know and choose to ignore(thats why you always get the 'oh yeah that is so right' feeling when you read them). Yeah its nice to see ideas validated with facts, but none of that creates real change. Only our choices do that.
Same. They obviously are aping Twitter and the default home page being the feed is bad. At a minimum I'd like to see their algorithm heavily favor items that link to and/or quote longer posts and downweight Twitter style memes and jokes.
That was unsettling—and freeing to read. The analogy of “curvilinear mazes” captures something that’s hard to pin down but obvious when named: most of us don’t lose time to social feeds by accident; the design almost ensures it. Your point about story really sticks with me. If time feels longer when it’s part of a narrative, it’s no wonder the jumble of posts and disconnected links leaves us with fragments, not memories.
Maybe the greatest risk isn’t just how social platforms steal our present, but how they erode the threads that tie one moment to the next. Without those connections, days blur and intention thins out. It’s striking how quickly novelty gets numbed, and even the advice to “seek surprise” can become just another routine if we aren’t conscious about it.
Reading this, I’m left asking: Is the true antidote not just to cut down screen time, but to be deliberate about weaving real stories and right angles into our lives—moments that contrast with the smooth, endless scroll? I wonder if the act of noticing, of making context sharp again, is actually the best form of resistance.
Reflecting further, I keep coming back to the challenge of making online time part of a coherent story, not just a blur. Has anyone found practical approaches or rituals that help turn digital moments into something memorable? Would love to gather a few real-world examples—what works (or doesn't) for you?
Back in 2007-2009 (when I had a laptop but no smartphone, and still actively checked my favorite websites for new content), I kept a blog which served as almost a scrapbook of my time on the internet.
I recently tried to resurrect the blog, and found the process almost excruciating for a number of reasons that ultimately boil down to the fact that my IRL Self is no longer strong enough to shape the habits, opinions, or even intentional behavior of my Internet Self.
…all that to say, I found an effective practical approach that feels nearly impossible to ritualize with a 2025 brain… but maybe that’s why it’s worth trying.
This reminds me of when Instagram changed it's algorithm/feed from linear to non-linear.
In the past, when you opened instagram - it would show posts in a LINEAR fashion. So, when you opened the app - the first thing you would see is a post from 1 minute ago. The second thing you would see is a post from 2 minutes ago. Then maybe a post from 5 minutes ago. So on and so forth.
Then, it changed.
Now, when I scroll on my feed, it's completely NON-LINEAR. I just checked my feed: the first picture on my feed was posted 6 hours ago, the second picture on my feed was posted 2 weeks ago, the third picture on my feed was posted 5 minutes ago.
Try it for yourself and see - it's kinda disorienting and weird. Like the casino, Instagram is designed to confuse. There's no sense of time. In the same way that casinos don't have clocks, instagram doesn't present information in a linear fashion. The term is called "temporal distortion".
Here's why it works:
If my feed of pictures/videos/memes is presented linearly - it gives me a time anchor. For instance, if I scroll long enough on instagram, eventually I will start seeing posts from 2-3 weeks ago. And I'll think to myself "damn I've looked at a lot of stuff".
BUT if the information is presented non-linearly - there's no checkpoint. There's no anchor. I have no idea how long I've been looking at posts for.
Also, I like the analogy between the casino and the phone.
But there's something much more sinister about the phone. Whereas, getting to a casino literally requires effort (get out of bed, get in your car, drive to the casino, etc), checking your phone requires no effort. It's a frictionless experience.
When you go to a casino, it is a purposeful, conscious act. But can the same be said for checking your phone? I'd argue not always.
These days I find myself aimlessly checking my phone. The second I feel momentary boredom, I reach for my phone. It's instinctual at this point. I've intentionally left my phone at home, gone for walks, and found myself reaching for my pocket several times in the span of 15-20 minutes.
These days I feel like a rat in a science experiment. The attention engineers have put me on a variable reinforcement schedule. I may not get a notification dopamine hit every time I check my phone, but maybe every 3rd or 4th time.
Even now...reading this article. I checked my phone twice - just to see if I have any notifications.
Gurwinder! Been a whole since I've read your work but this was an amazing topic! I've touched on this a plethora of times on my stack, but there were a few comments on your that I'm just now realizing.
1. The Normalizing of Amnesia -- This was a fascinating topic and one that I hadn't come across until now. The reference to the "lethe" is one I have to ponder on some more as I love how these ancient myths tell us information about our world today.
2. The story on Friedman and the casinos is mind blowing. I've been to plenty a casinos in my day and in reading about this, I had flashbacks as to how just a simple walk to the rest room is bombarded by machines everywhere.
Agreed with taking our time back and this is what I focus on in my work. Recently, I touched on allowing our mind to wander since that's what we've lost since every moment of 'boredom' we grab out phone. From that article we read:
"when we let our minds wander and passively watch the world go by, our brain engages in crucial unconscious processes. It helps us make sense of our lives, integrate past experiences into a coherent story, and plan for the future." (https://unorthodoxy.substack.com/p/what-happens-when-your-brain-has)
Love the stoicism and buddhism quotes. We have an amazing journey to live here. Let's not let it slip out of our hands.
Here's some of the work I've touched on in a similar fashion:
"we’ve been strangely nonchalant as those same companies carry out the greatest heist of our time in history"
I got stuck on this wonderful line. Americans insist on inserting computers into as many processes as they can. Without asking ourselves whether they are adding or subtracting value.
I work in the medical field. When electronic health records were made mandatory, they added an average of 2 hours a day to a physician's workload. And we are paid by the patient, not a salary. "But they'll make communication about patients so much easier!", they said. Well, maybe if the different brands were interoperable...they are not. Medical clinics are one of the few places where you can find a working fax machine, so we can fax records to one another. I could go on, but I'm sure there might be examples in other industries you have seen.
Agree- I am a plastic surgeon and our EMR has made communication much more difficult. I can scan a paper chart in seconds and review everything from where the patient lives to their procedures, any concerns etc. That process is simply not possible with an EMR.
One year ago I was on Threads, Blue Sky, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, X, Messenger, LinkedIn and Substack. I deleted Threads, Blue Sky, Instagram, Messenger and TikTok. Don’t miss them at all. Took Facebook, LinkedIn and X off my phone. Don’t miss them, either. It’s funny — I have good friends who aren’t on social media at all. They are living full and interesting lives. I suspect they know something I’m just figuring out.
You’re back! Thank you for this thoughtful meditation, so timely. “When faced with a choice of experiences, choose the option that’s most likely to lead to a good story.” Essential wisdom.
It's kind of interesting but I've been thinking of an experience that happened to me recently. I hungout with a few friends in the city and thought since, I'm in the city to might as well reach out to people who I haven't seen in a bit to have a classic intermingling of friend group. Well, that day went by very fast. Before I knew it, I was back home and quite tired yet excited about how well it went.
Everyone got along with everyone. Everyone engaged in different conversations. Everyone spoke to one another and learned about someone different.
I couldn't stop thinking of that hangout for the whole week. Reading this article made me realize that it was the breaking out of routine, being intentional to catch up with friends, and being present while we all just chatted in a sunny, beautiful day in San Francisco.
A good reminder that we all see the benefits when we are present with one another and just connecting without any agenda :)
This is lovely to read. I’m throwing a get together tomorrow at my home. Not many people, maybe 7 or 8, with cocktails and nibbles. I hope that it will lead to exactly this.
I just lost an internal struggle and picked up my phone to check substack again despite what having wasted most of the morning on it. This was the first article I saw.
Now the question is, do I start digging through your back catalogue or delete the app?
Wow. Another spookily memorable reflection on modern life. I've replaced Instagram with substack and medium but sometimes wonder how much better my wellness is. How does this time warping work if the stuff your meandering through is intellectual?...and if Instagram is heroin, is substack meth?
I think I agree. But i think the new substack feed now feels like the same thing you've described. Albeit more intellectual. I guess we'll never be able to fully avoid these time warping digital environments and will need to work on ourselves and practice awareness and intentionality. Books are great but they aren't the only source of information. Good essays often live longer in my memory than average books. So the question is, is it only length, and if so, is there an inflection point at which point our brains are engaging more? Your article seems to suggest it's linked to memory. As always incredibly thought provoking. Thank you.
Thank you for your writing, it's amongst the most memorable/useful on the site for me. This one especially so, as I've been thinking about this topic for years now. After all, I was one of the hesitant youth, prodded and pulled to download snapchat and the rest, only to become utterly trapped by them like everyone else. You're right to describe remembering to remember as the sticking point. Despite feeling uneasy about all of this for as long as I have, maintaining my path out of the labyrinth has been well... anything but straightforward.
Here are some tools that have been useful to me.
"Your Life in Weeks" -- A calendar with circles representing each of the 52 weeks in the year (to be filled out as you age)
Screen Time Blockers -- An API that allows you to selectively block access to websites and apps
Meditation -- The act of ceasing to be identified with the currents of our minds
Exercise -- The best way of reconnecting to this carbon world of ours, and ourselves
Talking to Strangers -- It lifts my mood and reminds me that there's nothing if not other people
Going for Bike Rides/Runs -- I've learned a lot more about the place where I live by seeing it
Sex -- An oldie but a goodie.
Phone Calls -- I've been trying to call a loved one every weekend
A little ball of yarn -- The ancients knew spinning the yarn was the best way out of this maze!
+1
For some added ideas for taking back time and getting immersed in real life, see this "simple acts of sanity" seed cataglogue I compiled from readers' responses a couple of years ago.https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/p/simple-acts-of-sanity-a-seed-catalogue
“It isn’t important which things we do, only that we find some, that they re-embody us, enrich our shared lives, and return us to our ‘right minds’.” Caroline Ross
Allow yourself the freedom to live and be without a phone
Build in personal meetings with clients rather than online only interactions
Cycle instead of using a car to get a better sense of distance, time, and climate
Delete excess photos from your phone
Develop film yourself
Don’t link e-mail to your phone
Don’t own a TV
Get a dumb phone
Get a land line
Get a point-and-shoot camera/disconnected smartphone for taking pictures
Get a typewriter
Give up social media
Give your teens wisephones/ lightphones instead of smartphones
If using an iPad, restrict functionality (delete built-in apps, add screen time limits)
If you publish a digital magazine, provide printed copies
Keep a clock that makes audible sound (like ticking or hourly chime)
Keep a paper planner
Keep a white board calendar
Keep your living room free of a television
Leave your phone at home when you go out
Listen to music on CD or records
Live by natural time rather than clock time
Maintain a landline as stationary family phone
Make a physical photo album from a small selection of your digital photos
Purchase a print subscription to newspaper/magazine rather than digital
Reduce the number of apps on your phone
Refuse to use Amazon
Send letters to family and friends to share news and say hello instead of facebook etc.
Send voice messages to friends
Set specific hours for phone use
Spend time in tech-free spaces
Switch to a flip phone
Switch your phone to airline mode when walking
Use a film camera
Use a local ordinance survey map to walk public footpaths and countryside
Use a pocket note book as a planner instead of your phone
Use a radio in the car
Use a record player and listen to vinyl
Use a watch instead of your phone to tell time
Use an e-reader with a backlit screen (so as not to be distracted by the internet)
Use an old Polaroid to make photos
Use film for still photography
Use message apps on computer instead of smart phone to set boundaries
Use paper maps
Use paper maps when hiking or camping instead of GPS
Use portable CD players (found at thrift stores)
Use the “manual” rather than the automatic door entrance
Use Victorian-style “calling cards” to give to people to get in touch with you
Use video chat instead of texting
Watch movies on DVD
Write your grocery lists by hand instead of your phone
Bake bread
Bake intricate pastries
Bike
Build a chicken coop
Butcher your own meat
Buy beef directly from ranchers
Buy clothes second-hand
Buy from local shops
Buy produce directly from farmers
Buy shoes that can be mended
Carpool or take transit when possible
Compost and enrich garden soil both by hand and with compost tumbler – practice “worm husbandry”
Compost everything that can be composted
Cook from scratch
Crochet
Cross-country ski to the grocery store
Cycle – even when the weather gets cooler
Cycle a gearless bike
Cycle to work
Delve into handspinning
Don’t buy processed food
Don’t use a microwave
Eat more simply
Favor small, local businesses
Forage for food
Gather your own wood for the stove
Get meat directly from farmer
Go carless
Go fishing and hunting with your children
Grind coffee beans with a hand grinder
Grind your own wheat flour
Grow your garden from seed
Grow your own flowers for hand-cut bouquets
Grow your own food
Hand-sew
Hand-water your garden
Knead bread by hand
Knit
Knit in public while waiting
Learn to preserve food by canning
Line-dry your laundry
Make bread by hand
Make cultured dairy like kefir and yoghurt
Make fermented foods like sauerkraut or sourdough
Make jam
Make wine stomped by foot, fermented in vats, and processed with muscle power
Mend or alter clothes by hand
Milk goats
Minimize amount of heat so that attire is dependent on weather
Minimize the time you use artificial light
Pay cash whenever possible
Pick mushrooms and herbs
Process your own game meat
Produce your own food supply
Raise a kitten
Sew buttons back onto clothing
Sew your own clothes
Shop at a local market instead of superstores
Shop at brick and mortar stores
Slowly increase the amount and variety of food you grow
Smoke your own bacon
Start gardening
Take buses and trains
Use a backpack to carry food from grocery store
Use a camp wagon to walk to the grocery store
Use a cold box with cold blocks
Use a compostable toilet
Use a hand grinder for coffee
Use a push-powered mower
Use a scythe instead of a lawnmower
Use a wooden stove sauna
Use a woodstove to heat your home
Use an ax instead of a chainsaw
Use drop spindle to make yarn
Use gathered sticks and leaves to fire Kelly kettle for tea
Use natural materials in the home e.g. wear cotton, linen, wool, leather, glass containers
Use stairs instead of escalators
Walk barefoot
Walk everywhere
Walk to appointments if possible
Walk to the library, the co-op, the thrift store, wherever you can
Wash and card wool
Weave
Always carry a journal with you
Build a Little Free Library
Complete a daily (ink) drawing
Craft in public
Dance in community: polka, square dance, waltz, Virginia reel
Draft all essays on paper
Draw
Exchange letters with friends
Find books to read from free book racks at recycling depots, railway stations, etc.
Give handmade gifts for Christmas
Go to the library frequently for new reading material
Hand-write and hand-address Christmas cards
Journal in a notebook
Keep a Commonplace quote book as a standard reading habit
Keep a daily journal
Learn a language (such as Argentine Spanish)by talking to everyone you can, make notes in longhand, carry a book of verbs
Learn the tango
Listen to audiobooks
Make your own birthday cards for people
Make your own Christmas wreath/ Advent calendar
Paint
Play the guitar
Play the piano
Practice an instrument
Practice creative writing with pen and pencil
Practice pottery
Print out recipes and put them in a binder
Read books during commute
Read non-fiction and novels from earlier eras
Read old books
Read physical books
Read the newspaper in the library
Read tons of books
Reread books
Roll beeswax candles
Send Christmas cards
Sing in a choir
Sing in a local production
Sing long songs from memory
Sing traditional songs in groups (unaccompanied)
Smash coloured rocks to make ancient paints
Swing dancing
Switch to a fountain pen
Switch to writing by hand
Take client notes by hand
Teach yourself bookbinding
Thrift clothing
Try needle felting
Type a page a day on a manual typewriter
Upcycle garments, making them better
Use a cookbook instead of defaulting to recipes online
Use half-used paper (whenever possible) for notes
Use pencil or ink pens
Use reeds for quill pens and scrap metal for metal point drawing
Write a novella in longhand
Write ideas for online creative projects in a notebook before typing or editing
Write in cursive
Write letters by hand in public
Hi, Gurwinder. Thanks for this marvellous essay. I think it might have been the economist Daniel Hahnemann on Desert Island Discs. I'm a primary teacher and I like philosophical puzzly questions. This question was : If you are told that you can go on the most wonderful dream holiday all paid for, but you would not be allowed to have any memories of it, would you go? Any thoughts?
Funny you mention this, as I touched on it in the original draft of this essay (I later had to cut it for concision). The question I originally posed was, if you could live forever, but only with a 5 second memory, would you take the deal? I anticipated that almost everyone would say no, because memory *is* life. Without it, even technically living forever is no life at all.
As I read this outstanding piece I couldn't help but reflect on how Substack Notes has morphed into exactly the type of social media that is TikTok and Facebook. Interesting and informative articles wrapped in re-stacks are interspersed with a plethora of memes and animal videos. While this keeps people on the platform, the trivia distracts readers (well at least me) from finding new writers. That, in turn, makes it ever more difficult for good writers, trying to make a living, from getting subscribers.
Do away with the app. You can get email notifications when articles you want to read are posted.
At least thats what i did. Other than articles, i dont go "out there" much at all. Bc i saw immediately what the app was doing, and i already knew it for the trash it is.
Seriously, just delete the app.
Yep. Same.
The 'Home' feed is bad (though still not nearly as bad as TikTok/FB), but the 'Following' one is much better, as it's only Notes by those you follow. However, Substack has programmed the App to always return to the 'Home' feed, ignoring my repeatedly set preference. I assume this is deliberate, and it really turns me off of Notes.
On the website, once you click on 'Following' it remembers the setting (if that's the way you last viewed it) when you come back, so I never have to see the rubbish unless I choose to.
Good tip - thanks!
This really nails it, Jim. I am so sorry to watch Substack descend, as all social media does, into garbage and jumble. Increasingly I have to shed the shit and find the gems. Eventually I suspect those of us who care enough will move on, and the next place will experience precisely the same thing. That said, I am planning more adventures instead of more scrolling.
Why move on to the next place just to watch it turn to shit? Maybe if you see a pattern, you can make choices to move yourself out of that pattern.
Js, theres more options than just "live life within the shit".
And the real gems arent found here or anywhere else online. Articles like this are just reminding us of what we already know and choose to ignore(thats why you always get the 'oh yeah that is so right' feeling when you read them). Yeah its nice to see ideas validated with facts, but none of that creates real change. Only our choices do that.
Same. They obviously are aping Twitter and the default home page being the feed is bad. At a minimum I'd like to see their algorithm heavily favor items that link to and/or quote longer posts and downweight Twitter style memes and jokes.
That was unsettling—and freeing to read. The analogy of “curvilinear mazes” captures something that’s hard to pin down but obvious when named: most of us don’t lose time to social feeds by accident; the design almost ensures it. Your point about story really sticks with me. If time feels longer when it’s part of a narrative, it’s no wonder the jumble of posts and disconnected links leaves us with fragments, not memories.
Maybe the greatest risk isn’t just how social platforms steal our present, but how they erode the threads that tie one moment to the next. Without those connections, days blur and intention thins out. It’s striking how quickly novelty gets numbed, and even the advice to “seek surprise” can become just another routine if we aren’t conscious about it.
Reading this, I’m left asking: Is the true antidote not just to cut down screen time, but to be deliberate about weaving real stories and right angles into our lives—moments that contrast with the smooth, endless scroll? I wonder if the act of noticing, of making context sharp again, is actually the best form of resistance.
Reflecting further, I keep coming back to the challenge of making online time part of a coherent story, not just a blur. Has anyone found practical approaches or rituals that help turn digital moments into something memorable? Would love to gather a few real-world examples—what works (or doesn't) for you?
Back in 2007-2009 (when I had a laptop but no smartphone, and still actively checked my favorite websites for new content), I kept a blog which served as almost a scrapbook of my time on the internet.
I recently tried to resurrect the blog, and found the process almost excruciating for a number of reasons that ultimately boil down to the fact that my IRL Self is no longer strong enough to shape the habits, opinions, or even intentional behavior of my Internet Self.
…all that to say, I found an effective practical approach that feels nearly impossible to ritualize with a 2025 brain… but maybe that’s why it’s worth trying.
This reminds me of when Instagram changed it's algorithm/feed from linear to non-linear.
In the past, when you opened instagram - it would show posts in a LINEAR fashion. So, when you opened the app - the first thing you would see is a post from 1 minute ago. The second thing you would see is a post from 2 minutes ago. Then maybe a post from 5 minutes ago. So on and so forth.
Then, it changed.
Now, when I scroll on my feed, it's completely NON-LINEAR. I just checked my feed: the first picture on my feed was posted 6 hours ago, the second picture on my feed was posted 2 weeks ago, the third picture on my feed was posted 5 minutes ago.
Try it for yourself and see - it's kinda disorienting and weird. Like the casino, Instagram is designed to confuse. There's no sense of time. In the same way that casinos don't have clocks, instagram doesn't present information in a linear fashion. The term is called "temporal distortion".
Here's why it works:
If my feed of pictures/videos/memes is presented linearly - it gives me a time anchor. For instance, if I scroll long enough on instagram, eventually I will start seeing posts from 2-3 weeks ago. And I'll think to myself "damn I've looked at a lot of stuff".
BUT if the information is presented non-linearly - there's no checkpoint. There's no anchor. I have no idea how long I've been looking at posts for.
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Also, I like the analogy between the casino and the phone.
But there's something much more sinister about the phone. Whereas, getting to a casino literally requires effort (get out of bed, get in your car, drive to the casino, etc), checking your phone requires no effort. It's a frictionless experience.
When you go to a casino, it is a purposeful, conscious act. But can the same be said for checking your phone? I'd argue not always.
These days I find myself aimlessly checking my phone. The second I feel momentary boredom, I reach for my phone. It's instinctual at this point. I've intentionally left my phone at home, gone for walks, and found myself reaching for my pocket several times in the span of 15-20 minutes.
These days I feel like a rat in a science experiment. The attention engineers have put me on a variable reinforcement schedule. I may not get a notification dopamine hit every time I check my phone, but maybe every 3rd or 4th time.
Even now...reading this article. I checked my phone twice - just to see if I have any notifications.
Omg! This is possibly the best thing I ever read at exactly the right moment I needed it. Thank you.
Gurwinder! Been a whole since I've read your work but this was an amazing topic! I've touched on this a plethora of times on my stack, but there were a few comments on your that I'm just now realizing.
1. The Normalizing of Amnesia -- This was a fascinating topic and one that I hadn't come across until now. The reference to the "lethe" is one I have to ponder on some more as I love how these ancient myths tell us information about our world today.
2. The story on Friedman and the casinos is mind blowing. I've been to plenty a casinos in my day and in reading about this, I had flashbacks as to how just a simple walk to the rest room is bombarded by machines everywhere.
Agreed with taking our time back and this is what I focus on in my work. Recently, I touched on allowing our mind to wander since that's what we've lost since every moment of 'boredom' we grab out phone. From that article we read:
"when we let our minds wander and passively watch the world go by, our brain engages in crucial unconscious processes. It helps us make sense of our lives, integrate past experiences into a coherent story, and plan for the future." (https://unorthodoxy.substack.com/p/what-happens-when-your-brain-has)
Love the stoicism and buddhism quotes. We have an amazing journey to live here. Let's not let it slip out of our hands.
Here's some of the work I've touched on in a similar fashion:
https://unorthodoxy.substack.com/p/the-0-app-thats-stealing-your-most
https://unorthodoxy.substack.com/p/the-perfect-tool-to-control-you-and
THIS IS THE END OF THE FEED
You can stop scrolling now, although the actual end might be a few minutes further down — or you might never reach it if you're viewing this on Notes.
I wonder what would happen if social media users started posting similar warnings about the end of feeds.
An amazing article that changes your perspective on time, social media, and perception.
Thank you!
"we’ve been strangely nonchalant as those same companies carry out the greatest heist of our time in history"
I got stuck on this wonderful line. Americans insist on inserting computers into as many processes as they can. Without asking ourselves whether they are adding or subtracting value.
I work in the medical field. When electronic health records were made mandatory, they added an average of 2 hours a day to a physician's workload. And we are paid by the patient, not a salary. "But they'll make communication about patients so much easier!", they said. Well, maybe if the different brands were interoperable...they are not. Medical clinics are one of the few places where you can find a working fax machine, so we can fax records to one another. I could go on, but I'm sure there might be examples in other industries you have seen.
Agree- I am a plastic surgeon and our EMR has made communication much more difficult. I can scan a paper chart in seconds and review everything from where the patient lives to their procedures, any concerns etc. That process is simply not possible with an EMR.
One year ago I was on Threads, Blue Sky, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, X, Messenger, LinkedIn and Substack. I deleted Threads, Blue Sky, Instagram, Messenger and TikTok. Don’t miss them at all. Took Facebook, LinkedIn and X off my phone. Don’t miss them, either. It’s funny — I have good friends who aren’t on social media at all. They are living full and interesting lives. I suspect they know something I’m just figuring out.
They know what real life is. And real life can be incredibly fulfilling.
Any fulfillment you get 'here', as gurwinder pointed out, is gone as soon as you leave. Nothing here is real.
Felt inspired. Wrote this. https://joedonatelli.substack.com/p/a-facebook-power-users-deathbed-regrets
You’re back! Thank you for this thoughtful meditation, so timely. “When faced with a choice of experiences, choose the option that’s most likely to lead to a good story.” Essential wisdom.
Oh the irony of stumbling across this brilliant essay whilst mindlessly scrolling 😂
It's kind of interesting but I've been thinking of an experience that happened to me recently. I hungout with a few friends in the city and thought since, I'm in the city to might as well reach out to people who I haven't seen in a bit to have a classic intermingling of friend group. Well, that day went by very fast. Before I knew it, I was back home and quite tired yet excited about how well it went.
Everyone got along with everyone. Everyone engaged in different conversations. Everyone spoke to one another and learned about someone different.
I couldn't stop thinking of that hangout for the whole week. Reading this article made me realize that it was the breaking out of routine, being intentional to catch up with friends, and being present while we all just chatted in a sunny, beautiful day in San Francisco.
A good reminder that we all see the benefits when we are present with one another and just connecting without any agenda :)
This is lovely to read. I’m throwing a get together tomorrow at my home. Not many people, maybe 7 or 8, with cocktails and nibbles. I hope that it will lead to exactly this.
I was just speaking to a friend in real life about just this!
Just an incredibly powerful and beautiful piece that genuinely has changed how I think. Thank you.
Goddamn.
I just lost an internal struggle and picked up my phone to check substack again despite what having wasted most of the morning on it. This was the first article I saw.
Now the question is, do I start digging through your back catalogue or delete the app?
Substack is a source of great stories, so it's a good way to dilate (retrospective) time!
Wow. Another spookily memorable reflection on modern life. I've replaced Instagram with substack and medium but sometimes wonder how much better my wellness is. How does this time warping work if the stuff your meandering through is intellectual?...and if Instagram is heroin, is substack meth?
As long as you use Substack to read long-form narratives rather than just idly scrolling through Notes, it can be a medicine rather than a narcotic.
I think I agree. But i think the new substack feed now feels like the same thing you've described. Albeit more intellectual. I guess we'll never be able to fully avoid these time warping digital environments and will need to work on ourselves and practice awareness and intentionality. Books are great but they aren't the only source of information. Good essays often live longer in my memory than average books. So the question is, is it only length, and if so, is there an inflection point at which point our brains are engaging more? Your article seems to suggest it's linked to memory. As always incredibly thought provoking. Thank you.
Personally i dont think it matters what you meander through, smart stuff or dumb. Articles are great and all, but its still screen time.
I suggested reading real books to fulfill your intellectual needs. They still work the same way they always did.