These are great. Re regret, I'd add: Regret things you have done (up to some line obvs) than things you have not done. I agree with @TylerCowen (if memory serves?) that reaching the end of your life and having no regrets is a bad strategy.
Agreed that the "no regrets" strategy is a bad and impractical one.
Chris Williamson has a take on regret, inspired by Christopher Hitchens, that I appreciate. Apparently Douglas Murray told Williamson that Hitchens (phew) once said to him: “In life, we must choose our regrets.”
Williamson's main takeaways from this (summarized at a bit more length in his blog post here: https://chriswillx.com/3-minute-monday-regrets-extinction-addiction/) are as follows: "I’d presumed that any regret is essentially the side-effect of a sub-optimal decision. I never considered that regrets could be unavoidably baked into the fabric of life. ... Rather than working out which decision you want to live with, imagine which decision you couldn’t bare living without."
Will check out that posting, but my own philosophical approach on regret is somewhat simpler. I tend to say, "I don't do regret." In many cases, it seems like a way to punish yourself for an action you could have *not* done but chose to do. Hell, accept it, and the lesson it brought, if any, and keep it moving. There are no points to accumulate for feeling bad after the fact. If, by chance, you had no control, feeling regret is even less warranted.
Thanks for that. I think there's some truth in that as well. There is definitely utility in accepting and moving on from a feeling that does not serve you or others. On the other hand, to accept it, you first need to acknowledge it. I think that bad feeling after the fact is often where the lesson begins to be learned.
Interestingly enough, to your point, the original commenter's point, Gurwinder's point, and my earlier point about regret (via Chris Williamson), I was watching an episode of Williamson's Modern Wisdom podcast with Gad Saad yesterday. In it, Saad talks briefly about the psychology of regret. He also distinguishes between regret due to action versus regret due to inaction, and then talks about two useful tools of regret (the first one, related to the "In life, we must choose our regrets" quote):
1. Anticipatory regret
2. Using an acknowledgement of regret as a catalyst to learn and act
Great post,thank you. Another heuristic I’ve found useful is reversibility - I.e., in conditions of uncertainty choose the course of action that can most readily be reversed.
This is so very timely for me. I'm trying to line up my business responsibilities and implement more quickly. With ADHD it can be a nightmare when things I enjoy collide with things I need to do. Deciding when to continue designing new content or to halt for implementation is critical to growth. 💜
Eliminated decision fatigue about food, and maintain a super healthy diet, by meal planning and eating the same things 5 days per week. Also eliminates eating out of boredom. 10/10 highly recommend.
Have also eliminated comparing products online for 2 hours to save $2 on a purchase. If it takes more than 10 minutes to decide which one to buy, I dont buy anything.
Also, I believe that drug addiction often comes from not making important life decisions. But its often rooted in not having the guidance needed to make those decisions. We all need something to look forward to, and when we dont choose, getting high fills that hole in the worst way possible.
Excellent advice. Just realised Solomon's Paradox puts a name to something I already do but didn't quite realise I did. I am also a massive fan of their cruelly neglected overambitious second LP from 1970.
Excellent article. Thank you. My only quibble is the phrase 'unfettered freedom' The crappy productions of the 'free' market are created to bury one in indecision and to create an illusion of choice, is it truly freedom when one is told to desire a particular thing and all choices are not only equal but equally crappy? But that's me😸.
This is really good. I think I'm inspired to write a little about Fredkin's paradox! I see it everywhere, paralysis by analysis. Very cool thought piece today.
Here's another one: if a choice between two material things makes no difference, always take the one on the right OR always take the one on the left. If you always choose one or the other, then there is no waste of time overthinking it.
I was surprised at the length of time we spend making decisions. I suppose it has to do with the definition of decision making. For example if we read a long book review (think NYRB), does that count? I'd also add that some decisions, once made, can easily be reversed. The media we consume, whether a book or a TV Series, can be stopped if it fails to meet expectations. Or often something we buy can be returned. Thanks for this thoughtful post!
“Buridan’s ass illustrates that there’s a cost to weighing options, which can exceed the cost of any of the options. Thus, the choices we make don’t need to be the best; they just have to be worth more than the time spent making them. If we spend less time making decisions, we can spend more time making whatever decision we made work.”
Great stuff here, Gurwinder. Thank you. I had no idea I was a mythical donkey. But indeed, I am Buridan’s ass.
Mythical? I'm sure you are legendary. 🤣
These are great. Re regret, I'd add: Regret things you have done (up to some line obvs) than things you have not done. I agree with @TylerCowen (if memory serves?) that reaching the end of your life and having no regrets is a bad strategy.
Agreed that the "no regrets" strategy is a bad and impractical one.
Chris Williamson has a take on regret, inspired by Christopher Hitchens, that I appreciate. Apparently Douglas Murray told Williamson that Hitchens (phew) once said to him: “In life, we must choose our regrets.”
Williamson's main takeaways from this (summarized at a bit more length in his blog post here: https://chriswillx.com/3-minute-monday-regrets-extinction-addiction/) are as follows: "I’d presumed that any regret is essentially the side-effect of a sub-optimal decision. I never considered that regrets could be unavoidably baked into the fabric of life. ... Rather than working out which decision you want to live with, imagine which decision you couldn’t bare living without."
Will check out that posting, but my own philosophical approach on regret is somewhat simpler. I tend to say, "I don't do regret." In many cases, it seems like a way to punish yourself for an action you could have *not* done but chose to do. Hell, accept it, and the lesson it brought, if any, and keep it moving. There are no points to accumulate for feeling bad after the fact. If, by chance, you had no control, feeling regret is even less warranted.
Thanks for that. I think there's some truth in that as well. There is definitely utility in accepting and moving on from a feeling that does not serve you or others. On the other hand, to accept it, you first need to acknowledge it. I think that bad feeling after the fact is often where the lesson begins to be learned.
Interestingly enough, to your point, the original commenter's point, Gurwinder's point, and my earlier point about regret (via Chris Williamson), I was watching an episode of Williamson's Modern Wisdom podcast with Gad Saad yesterday. In it, Saad talks briefly about the psychology of regret. He also distinguishes between regret due to action versus regret due to inaction, and then talks about two useful tools of regret (the first one, related to the "In life, we must choose our regrets" quote):
1. Anticipatory regret
2. Using an acknowledgement of regret as a catalyst to learn and act
That section starts here: https://youtu.be/x06nkOC7Lxw?si=zs71lOzJkYIRw99u&t=2552
Fascinating! I am a huge fan of Dr. Saad. Even if I weren't, this premise sounds interesting. Thanks for sharing. #LearningOnSubstack
There are some real gems here, with the 2 minute rule being the one I’m committing to first. Thanks and well done!
I like the 2 minute rule too. I’m the ass who can’t decide what to cook for so long, I end up just buying food- better than dying though.
I first heard that one in relation to emails. If you can send a 2min reply, do it now. If it needs longer, schedule it. Works for me!
I love this concept, and there's a Chrome extension that helps you put things in that order. Writing it down still takes way too long. Lol
already using it!
Great post,thank you. Another heuristic I’ve found useful is reversibility - I.e., in conditions of uncertainty choose the course of action that can most readily be reversed.
This is so very timely for me. I'm trying to line up my business responsibilities and implement more quickly. With ADHD it can be a nightmare when things I enjoy collide with things I need to do. Deciding when to continue designing new content or to halt for implementation is critical to growth. 💜
Eliminated decision fatigue about food, and maintain a super healthy diet, by meal planning and eating the same things 5 days per week. Also eliminates eating out of boredom. 10/10 highly recommend.
Have also eliminated comparing products online for 2 hours to save $2 on a purchase. If it takes more than 10 minutes to decide which one to buy, I dont buy anything.
Also, I believe that drug addiction often comes from not making important life decisions. But its often rooted in not having the guidance needed to make those decisions. We all need something to look forward to, and when we dont choose, getting high fills that hole in the worst way possible.
Wow. Terrific advice that came at a perfect time. Thank you.
I like to ask the question (also from Jeff Bezos): can I walk back through this door? If yes, feel free to try. If not, stop and consider.
Excellent advice. Just realised Solomon's Paradox puts a name to something I already do but didn't quite realise I did. I am also a massive fan of their cruelly neglected overambitious second LP from 1970.
Excellent article. Thank you. My only quibble is the phrase 'unfettered freedom' The crappy productions of the 'free' market are created to bury one in indecision and to create an illusion of choice, is it truly freedom when one is told to desire a particular thing and all choices are not only equal but equally crappy? But that's me😸.
This is really good. I think I'm inspired to write a little about Fredkin's paradox! I see it everywhere, paralysis by analysis. Very cool thought piece today.
Here's another one: if a choice between two material things makes no difference, always take the one on the right OR always take the one on the left. If you always choose one or the other, then there is no waste of time overthinking it.
I was surprised at the length of time we spend making decisions. I suppose it has to do with the definition of decision making. For example if we read a long book review (think NYRB), does that count? I'd also add that some decisions, once made, can easily be reversed. The media we consume, whether a book or a TV Series, can be stopped if it fails to meet expectations. Or often something we buy can be returned. Thanks for this thoughtful post!
robertsdavidn.substack.com/about (free)
Great read!
“Buridan’s ass illustrates that there’s a cost to weighing options, which can exceed the cost of any of the options. Thus, the choices we make don’t need to be the best; they just have to be worth more than the time spent making them. If we spend less time making decisions, we can spend more time making whatever decision we made work.”
Like this the best! The whole article is great👍
Thanks
Outstanding article Gurwinder! Very thought-provoking! Cheers!