Someone must be to blame and if it's not me, it must be someone else.
Blame is a toxic concept that drives a lot of what you describe.
Underneath blame is the idea of control, that somehow we can or should have control.
So if the causes are external, then we can blame others, and blame society for not fixing it.
A much better working concept is Contribution.
In any situation and outcome there are multiple contributions, from yourself, others, economic and social factors etc. Very few you have any control or even influence over.
It can be useful to map contributions (and it's a neutral word, unlike blame) and learn what we can do in future if we don't like the outcome now. It takes out the emotional sting.
Great essay. Thank you.
One idea that fuels this is 'Blame'
Someone must be to blame and if it's not me, it must be someone else.
Blame is a toxic concept that drives a lot of what you describe.
Underneath blame is the idea of control, that somehow we can or should have control.
So if the causes are external, then we can blame others, and blame society for not fixing it.
A much better working concept is Contribution.
In any situation and outcome there are multiple contributions, from yourself, others, economic and social factors etc. Very few you have any control or even influence over.
It can be useful to map contributions (and it's a neutral word, unlike blame) and learn what we can do in future if we don't like the outcome now. It takes out the emotional sting.