Here is the first step to what ails us - stop feeding the black wolf that lives in us all. We are attracted to these shock stories because it appeals to our own inner toddler. And every click feeds the beast. The only way to move forward is to learn to grow up ourselves and to join the strong, silent majority who are actually engaged in making the world function at all.
Every evil deed in history was done by someone who tried to pretend they dont have a shadow. By someone who hated some part of themselves, but rather than reconciling that internally, they project it onto the world and pretend that its an external problem.
EG: Anyone who uses the word narcissist frequently, and coincidentally, never acknowledges their own self absorption.
The only way to recognize our shadow is to develop intimate relationships with people we trust. Our shadow will come out then, and those we love and trust will help us to see them. Anyone can be a saint while sitting alone on a mountaintop, but if you want to truly know yourself, you need to let someone close enough to see your ugly side. In other words: you need to be vulnerable.
Yes Penny, fully agree with you! I find that true self-awareness often comes through our closest relationships.
Adding on top of that, trusting someone enough to show them that vulnerability is where real personal, growth happens. It’s not always easy, but it’s so worth it for the insights and deeper understanding of ourselves.
For sure. Our darker sides will emerge to a greater or lesser extent when we engage with others. If we are self aware, have the humility to be self critical, and have the framework to understand it as evil, we see that side, it frightens us, and we tame it.
Thats tricky. In the case of a cluster B personality type, if they are backed into a corner and forced to acknowledge their shadow and that their identitiy is a farce, they can have psychotic episodes.
However, some do get better, supposedly. Depends on the individual.
Gurwinder is correct. The only way to quell these "protesters" is to stop paying attention to them. Rewarding people for awful behavior is infuriating.
Have you ever considered that people are totally sick of putting up with the profiteers, capitalists and unethical government hacks that continue to KILL and impoverish many people?
We are sick of it! Some tactics may be misguided and ineffective. Some people do nothing at all. We really need much unity, common purpose and perseverance to throw out these bums.
We tolerate it all, moving further to our own extinction.
Look, the world is an outrageous place, and Nietzsche noted that human evil made the world all the more difficult to reside in. Your right, and I think protests are way of expressing such outrage. Maybe, as Gurwinder writes, it has gone too far. Maybe all this outrage is just an equal response to the struggle we are living through today. A generation of people with nothing to triumph over, no great challenge or monster to slay, are so restless, that perhaps kicking and screaming is all there is left to do?
But you are sort of right, it isn't fair. But it's how you respond that matters I suppose.
No great monster? The west is now commiting genocide daily with the entire media and government support. And the conspiracy of silence while they starve one million children is deafening.
The idea of not feeding the black wolf within us is such a clear reminder of how our choices—what we click on, what we engage with—shape not just our mindset but the world around us.
I find that it’s about choosing maturity and responsibility over instant gratification. I guess it's human nature, after all.
This is an important read for those who probably will not take the time to read it. And so, the cycle continues. Here we are in an echo chamber of moderates who attempt to engage and enlighten those who have gulped the Kool-Aid chosen a side and refuse to hear alternative ideas and possible compromises. This type of logic seems to me to be the antidote, but the question is how to deliver it in a way that breaks thru to the masses? I agree that a large "Silent Majority" have these sympathies but as said no major outlet for broadcast. Sitting here fiddling while watching the fire.
Effective education should engage students during the critical period of early cognitive development, when foundational imprinting occurs. It is essential to cultivate critical thinking skills, nurture a sense of curiosity, and emphasize the importance of self-reflection. Additionally, fostering qualities such as temperance and forgiveness within a communal learning environment can instill a strong sense of belonging. This holistic approach could help students develop not only intellectually but also emotionally and socially.
Difficult to do in places that encourage home schooling, especially if they’re linked to a particular religion community. Critical thinking skills are not high on the list of potential subjects for homeschooling nor most religions. Note I said *most*.
One sided argument in regard to Israel & Palestine - Palestinians have been oppressed & marginalized & fotrgotten by the majority of the world since 1948
I think you are correct. Our educational systems often do it wrong. Individual teachers do help. Kids in the US are too into consumer culture, a situation sold to everyone by capitalism. Parents are often indoctrinated also. Now we hear about taking phones during school. That ought to have been the rule from the beginning.
I think Mick Lynch does a good job of communicating these sorts of moderate, mature approaches to political debate and ideas in a digestible way. Rory Stewart also, though he tends to be a bit more long-winded.
Precisely. Only the enraged & radical get listened to. Success is what will bring it to an end. Promote the winning side. It’s so much happier. Put the solutions in people’s pockets & ride the wave of optimism. Move from the dark side to the bright side…wouldn’t that be nice
Banger as always. Neotoddlers is a great term. There is another major difference between left and right wing protestors.
The left not only receives institutional narrative support for their causes, but they also have much more funding from dark money NGOs and receive much more lenient treatment from two-tiered justice systems. They typically protest more abstract harms like climate change and hate speech, while anyone who gets upset about violent deaths is smeared as "far right". As you pointed out, the wealth disparity is glaring.
It is important to mention that the UK unrest was caused by the brutal stabbing deaths of 3 innocent little girls. For decades, government and media have set the narrative that it's racist/Islamophobic to mention decades of Muslim grooming gangs and other deaths at the hands of migrants like the Manchester arena bombing, London Bridge stabbing, Lee Rigby, etc. Free speech and debate over genuine concerns have been suppressed and censored. It is a far cry from the campus neotoddlers whinging about their luxury beliefs.
The "protestors" are not responding to the stabbings of the three girls. The murderer was not a Muslim, yet the "protestors" have been vandalizing mosques and attacking Muslims. Attacking people should be inexcusable even if you agree with the politics of the attackers.
If, like me, you oppose mass immigration and think multiculturalism is a failure, then for that reason alone you should oppose the riots. According to YouGov surveys (linked in the essay), the rioters have achieved nothing but turn the public against them, by reinforcing the stereotype that people critical of multiculturalism are violent thugs. Instead of making it easier to convince people about these issues, the rioters have made it harder!
Thanks for your thoughtful response, Gurwinder. Highly recommend listening to the recent Triggernometry episode with UK Detective Peter Bleksley, which delves into the nuances. I have never supported riots or inexcusable physical violence. The point is that a government that repeatedly fails protect its most vulnerable little girls has failed. Instead of promoting open discourse on problems and solutions, they double down on suppression. The protests are the result of decades of crimes, two-tiered justice, and rhetoric that have not been adequately addressed. We all want peace, but the downward spiral will continue under the status quo, which sadly appears to be the case.
You are totally correct about all of that. The protesters have years worth of legitimate grievances and the government has ignored them and persecuted or prosecuted those who bring it up. I wholly agree that these people are in a different category than others mention in this article.
You’re right—when a government fails to protect its most vulnerable, it’s not just a failure, it’s a betrayal. It’s like there’s a boiling point that gets reached when people feel unheard and unprotected for so long.
I like to think that peace is the goal, but without addressing these deep-seated issues, it’s hard to see how that can happen. I’ll definitely check out that episode with Peter Bleksley.
"thoughtful response"? No reply to the correction and now dancing around your statement to the "the UK unrest was caused by...." Followed by the negativity towards Muslims.
We're all biased, I know. But I'm not too keen on this idea of multiculturalism not being able to work. It's worked fairly well in the USA, with issues over our short history to be certain. But, it most certainly doesn't help when everyone sings the same anti culture du jour. The Brits did it to the Germans when we arrived in the US , then we did it to the Italian's, they did it to the Irish, and of course everyone did it against the Blacks. And here we are in 2024 with some groups worldwide claiming they're lighter skinned than the other. Perhaps it's simply my own bias viewing things differently or it might be the peace loving hippie in me wishing humans could have the capacity for love and peace. Certainly we've had thousands of decades of practice by now.
Hi Gurwinder, you are making an error if you group all UK protesters into the same tub. Check out Wesley Winter’s man-on-the-street interviews at the ‘Enough is Enough’ protest in Westminster a few days after the initial rioting in impoverished Southport UK community. These protesters within train ride to London were treated quite unfairly, no doubt an over reaction. They were legitimate grievances aired by ‘normal citizens’ [working class], and cops cornered, provoked crowd then arrested them all - including Wesley!
The UK government (succession of them) have opened borders to many illegal immigrant brown skinned people, housed them alongside white native poor and done this for years. This is the result. The 3 girls were just the ‘George Floyd’ spark - allow mass voice to deep societal issues.
You are correct about what protesters acheive. And that is becuase much of the time the media is determined to create a narrative that useful idiots like you promote.
Yes because the only possible reason the British people would object to being replaced in their own lands is that they're getting stirred up by Putler.
There is no difference between left and right wing protesters. Special pleading for your own toddlers. One side isn't evil. Both sides have pathological individuals and pathological group dynamics.
Agree there isn’t a lot of difference between Antifa, Anarchists and Proud Boys. Now, do you see how I label these particular ‘protesters’ with specificity, rather than just ‘protesters’?
I wonder how the MSM would label the 2010 Occupy Wall Street protests if they repeated again? Would they be called ‘far right’ and ‘facists’ like ‘working class UK protesters’ were labeled over past several weeks? Or how Trudeau and his friendly 4th estate labeled the Covid Convoy Truckers also in ‘far right’ language?
The point is that there is a certain type of large scale grooming that has been ignored and obscured by the police and authorities for years, including threats being made to whistleblowers and the victims by those who should have been protecting them. Obviously the Southport murders had nothing to do with that, but it all feeds into the rage that has morphed into the idiocy of the last few days.
Just as Brexit would probably not have happened if a few of those responsible for the 2008 crash had been imprisoned as they should have been, the chances of what has happened now would have been greatly reduced if the grooming scandals in Rotherham, Rochdale and Telford etc had been dealt with proportionately. And I don't just mean with consequences for the perpetrators, but also their enablers in the police, social services and councils.
Large scale grooming has always been around. White european males getting pissy about different cultures and ethnicities doing it to 'their' women is laughable. Its abhorrent. Whoever does it. Racist judicial and enforcement systems have historically been quicker to seek it out when perpetrated by 'other'. 'other' is more readily profiled and targeted not more/less likely to engage in abhorrent behaviour. This stuff is complex. There are no simple answers. Mass frustration at the absence of instant fixes, while perhaps understandable, is still wrongheaded. But those in power fan that frustration when it suits them, to divide and rule. Its a story as old as time.
His ancestry is relevant because of the generational trauma he will doubtless have experienced. His parents probably came over as refugees, seeking asylum for the terrors of their own country. Are we to turn away those who need our help when our empire building doubtless contributed to the origin of their continents psychosis? Are we to refuse our shared humanity? To not give safety to those in need when we can? These are questions I ask myself. All the time. Humans are complex, weak, difficult, amazing, adaptable, damaged. I dont know the answers. Only that we have to keep trying.
If his parents had been turned away, three little White girls would be alive today. Spare us the tears. This pathological empathy for the Other has led to nothing but ruin.
Your comment re two tier justice is easily disproven - the just stop oil members got longer sentences for being on a zoom call than the far right mobs got for attempting to burn down immigration hotels 🤷
Bang on. As a human rights advocate, I've watched for years as social justice organizations become infiltrated and ruined by neo-toddlers. Once even one of these "folx" gets in, you can't get rid of them. Instead (since many are narcissists), they will bully any voices of reason right out of the group, usually by claiming they are oppressors over some imagined bullshit.
A social justice organization must be VERY vigilant in its hiring, delegation & promotion to prevent this.
My own organization, which I co-founded, has also faced attack from outside--mass trolling from "folx" seeking to undermine the group because we refused to cede leadership to several neo-toddlers and instead showed them the door.
It becomes exhausting and a lot of good people leave human rights work as a result. :(
Exactly! The problem with ignoring the behaviour is that eventually sane people leave and the neotoddlers are promoted into running the place. From then on its game over in terms of getting any remotely sane discourse.
I think any organization with sane goals needs some thugs in its midst who show lunatics the door and arent afraid to do so with force, as this is often the only language they understand
Those organizations are the perfect stage for their productions and manipulations. They are skilled at hijacking the well intended, who fill those organizations. It seems that a uniquely strongly mission and strong, unapologetic, decisive leadership are prerequisite to resist take over, coopting, and destruction. Sadly, those are hard traits to come by, hard to maintain, hard to nurture. I suspect it has frequently been a lonely, tortured existence for the good founders and leaders.
It initially does feel lonely--until one untangles the historic mistake of grassroots work: over-relying on consensus and coalition with other advocacy groups. It is actually freeing to be canceled; it forces a new way of thinking, better use of time, ability to create new relationships with private sector and to more directly deal with govts and other stakeholders.
One realizes, then, how much "coalition work" can hold you back as an organization. Likewise the emotional labour of appeasing cancel culture within one's own group. Being canceled, in the end, is a great gift. I'd recommend it for any organization.
The reason we see so many protests that you style "neotoddlerism" is because governments in the West are so unresponsive to citizens, other than presenting voters every few years with a choice between a couple of carefully curated corporate imperialist muppets. You can choose between Team R Tweedledee and Team D Tweedledum! If you don't like it, wait another four years and do it again, because neither one of them listens to you.
Basically, taking into account how wildly unpopular western politicians and their policies are, this is the only way to make governments pay attention.
As for your insinuations of Russian influence, I suppose no Russian ever may express an opinion regarding western political developments, lest some unsuspecting American come across that opinion and be led astray.
"governments in the West are so unresponsive to citizens" - this is exactly the *opposite* of what's true: Western governments run up deficits because they are terrified of raising taxes while expanding benefits, kicking the can down the road. They do what's tepidly possible on climate change because more radical moves would decimate the economy (surveys show citizens don't actually want to *pay anything* to stop climate change). What you fail to understand is that the vast majority of citizens in the West don't give a shit about your particular pet cause and want what's most comfortable and predictable for them. Politicians are doing exactly what the Western masses want, no matter how contradictory or short-sighted it might be. Until you recognize that, you don't really understand how the world works.
This. "Every child begins life throwing tantrums. And every good parent learns to ignore them, because they know that acknowledging attention-seeking behaviors validates them, and prevents their kids from outgrowing them. If we wish to stop seeing good causes ruined by bad actors, we must stop rewarding immaturity. If we wish to usher in an age of post-toddlerism, we must stop making neotoddlers famous."
First off, this is outstanding analysis. Agreement-Bias Alert: Of course I think so, since I tend to agree with you so often!
Secondly, a few decades ago, I took a class in "performance management" which was, at the time, a corporate buzzword. While I have forgotten many of the tenets of the practice, one concept remains burned into my psyche. That concept feeds into the malady of neotoddlerism wonderfully. When one wants to stop a behavior being encountered from one of his team members, either privately, but more likely publicly, i.e., in meetings, he can employ a practice known as "extinguishing the behavior." This is, put simply, ignoring the assholery. As you note, this is EXACTLY the same practice as patient parents use with tantrum-throwing toddlers. However, there is a downside. Typically, before the behavior is extinguished, it gets worse. The kid cries more loudly. The tantrum gets worse. Same is typically true of adults whose poor behavior we seek to extinguish. Long story short, before we can rid ourselves of these neotoddlers, specifically if we seek to extinguish their poor behavior via patient ignoring, their B.S. will probably get worse. Human nature is a funny thing.
I learned this technique as well in parenting, then management, and finally in dog training. Then we adopted a reactive dog that if he was a person would have been labeled an asshole. We dutifully ignored his outbursts and it sort of improved, but he was a handful. I found a new trainer who worked with difficult dogs and she was a retired Army officer. She told me that assholes need to receive the information that they are assholes. That doesn’t mean punishment—it means they need to receive the information that the action they just took was wrong. She taught me a couple of verbal cues to use on the dog—basically a low growling sound that delivered a “stop it” message in a way a dog can understand. Behaviors (wild barking at any other dog) that had gone on for years got extinguished in a month of exposure, feedback, etc.
Neotoddlers need the same information from the culture—cut that shit out. Then you can ignore them. Kamala Harris delivered a great master class in the “don’t make me pull this car over” approach to Gaza protesters yesterday: https://youtu.be/HkI-naIncpY?si=4i3l54vWaOmf4-IW
Neotoddlerism is a great word, and it resonates with Cory Doctorow's enshitification. The enshitification of the Internet gave us the tools that enable the neotoddlers. Ignoring their behavior to deprive them of attention is a good strategy, but they should not escape the consequences of their actions that result in harming people or destroying property. Arrests that don't result in prosecution only encourage further bad behavior.
Really love this quote: "What we need are clear, specific, and realistic plans of action. And the neotoddlers, being impulsive short-term thinkers, have only broad demands but no rational way to achieve them."
It feels like practicality and pragmatism have been on the decline from society for a while now. This trend didn't start with the smartphone, but the smartphone certainly made this worse.
The decline in practicality and pragmatism is noticeable, and while it didn’t start with smartphones, they’ve definitely amplified it. It's like we've become more focused on instant reactions and broad demands, but less on thoughtful, actionable plans.
It’s a real challenge in today’s world, where impulsiveness often overshadows careful, rational thinking.
Good piece, I’d suggest that it’s a part of a great infantilization of adults in greater society as well. Somewhere over the past 30 years, our culture has become generally more childish. I’ve often been reminded of the princess and the pea fairy tail when thinking of current western society. We’re so comfortable that even a pea under 12 mattresses is too much discomfort for us to handle. Small discomfort’s seem like life or death to someone that’s never had to deal with actual life or death situations. I’ve also heard it referred to as the “silk shoes” period of empires, which usually precedes their downfall (That’s Dan Carlin’s term). I’m just glad I’m old enough that my rides more than half over and that I was lucky enough to have lived during a time where the world was mostly getting better.
Fabulous article @Gurwinder - thank you! This ‘todder’ behaviour is driven by emotions and feelings vs thought.
There are therefore no opportunities for critical thought, reflection or learning.
They are simply using only one aspect of their brain and ignoring the aspect that allowed us to develop a sophisticated civilisation and well-functioning society.
Not hard to guess where we’re headed if this situation doesn’t change.
As covered before, the media is incentivized to use outrage and anger in it's quest for our attention. So, as we continue to react to the neotoddlerism, we keep the vicious cycle going.
I have failed in corporate environments when outbursts of dissatisfaction appear from folks not getting exactly what they want. Any substantial reply, even one stemming from basic human empathy, serves only to provide further oxygen to the fire and keep it spreading.
As with the neotoddlers, our human psychology to care for those seemingly in distress (or in adult diapers) is being abused for the wrong purposes.
Brilliant. I've been trying to articulate this in my own head for months. And failed. Thank you for doing it for me.
Also, great point about how the plastic recycling person ( forgot the name already) had done so much more good then Greta. The attention given to these climate activists is entirely disproportionate to those doing the research and devising solutions in the background. Think you should do a deep dive on this topic.
I enjoy reading articulate thoughtful essays and this was one of them. Do think your solution is a bit simplistic though because click-bait is built into the economic model of digital formats. More effective on individual basis would be reconnecting behavior with consequences. If neotoddlers have short narcissistic attention spans, then perhaps even-handed justice systems that reacquaint them with the consequences of their behavior would eventually stamp out luxury beliefs and refocus activism towards solutions....maybe not. Big ask of the liberal media and social democracies to be even-handed.
Will add your Substack to the recommendation section of my own.
Justice is obviously important, but prevention is better than cure. The reason clickbait is built into the economic model of digital formats is that we're suckers for clickbait. So the only long-term solution is to not be suckers for clickbait, imo.
I expect that there will always (for some value of "always") be a market for clickbait, even if it is only among the neotoddlers of whichever faction and their sympathizers, and that market will be large enough to attract advertisers. If that's the case, the economics of media will continue to direct attention to the protests and demonstrations, rather than the quiet successes and moderate compromises. The solution is akin to "just say no" - which was not a very successful approach.
All that said, it was a great piece, and a terrific identification of the problem - thank you!
Brilliant piece! Being a Kindergarten teacher and nana, I would propose that ACTual toddlers differ in the fact that they don't hate other people (....in "palestine" they learn it), and they are fun and loving most of the time. But Neotoddlerist behaviour - without doubt - is a THING!
When another country with one of the world's largest militaries drops hundreds of thousands of bombs on you while cutting off your food and water, you don't learn animosity. The people bombing and starving you, even starving and killing their own hostages to do it, while their leaders openly state it is morally just that they do so, teach you animosity by example. Your English teacher would mark this up for passive voice.
Amimosity is what a regime already has if they can openly, publicly plan to sell off your land while they have their military kill thousands of you in another region entirely. While hundreds of thousands of their own people, including hostage families, risk their livelihoods to protest and try to stop the regime from doing it. Animosity is what a regime desperately tries to drum up among its people when it is facing prison time for a whole host of crimes the second the regime ends.
Such a weird, catty, infantile comment on a post about infantilism.
The school curriculum throughout the Middle East would put Goebbels to shame. Radicalization is precisely what led to the tragic events over the past year, not what resulted from it. I'd recommend you look into what these children are being taught - it has no equal anywhere on Earth (including North Korea). Germany and Japan never would have become the nations they are today if not both disavowed of this same seething fanaticism which calls Gaza home.
Only through a recognition of one another's humanity can we elevate ourselves above the muck in which we find ourselves.
No, history did not start on October 8th. Okay...?
Are you supporting leadership that is *capable* of furthering the recognition of one another's shared humanity? Or are you supporting the Netanyahu regime, a far-right authoritarian regime that actively maximizes conflict and artificially props up other far-right authoritarian regimes just so it always has an enemy to fight, with the full backing of a US military that is HEAVILY responsible for the rise of the far-right authoritarian regimes you are rightly concerned about in other countries?
I'm certainly no fan of the Netanyahu regime. His policies directly led to the calamity of October 7th and everything that followed.
But the seeds of the last year's events were planted decades prior by the Muslim Brotherhood. Its revanchist ideology and seething extremism is well-known to regional players like the Saudis, Bahrainis, Jordanians, Emiratis, etc, yet somehow completely whitewashed by their apologists in the West.
I do wonder why.
Palestinian society needs to be deradicalized. This is not a novel concept. It happened in Germany and Japan and was an absolute necessity for any semblance of a peaceful future to take root.
Failure to deradicalize the Confederate South led directly to the KKK and Jim Crow and has reverberations still felt today.
Great article. Love the term neotoddlerism. A few years ago here in Seattle there were climate activists blocking an oil rig on the sound. They arrived at the rig on their kayaks. Guess what kayaks are made from?
Here is the first step to what ails us - stop feeding the black wolf that lives in us all. We are attracted to these shock stories because it appeals to our own inner toddler. And every click feeds the beast. The only way to move forward is to learn to grow up ourselves and to join the strong, silent majority who are actually engaged in making the world function at all.
Every evil deed in history was done by someone who tried to pretend they dont have a shadow. By someone who hated some part of themselves, but rather than reconciling that internally, they project it onto the world and pretend that its an external problem.
EG: Anyone who uses the word narcissist frequently, and coincidentally, never acknowledges their own self absorption.
John, you do make an interesting point about projection.
Do you think people can fully recognize their own shadow, or is it always easier to see it in others, if ever?
The only way to recognize our shadow is to develop intimate relationships with people we trust. Our shadow will come out then, and those we love and trust will help us to see them. Anyone can be a saint while sitting alone on a mountaintop, but if you want to truly know yourself, you need to let someone close enough to see your ugly side. In other words: you need to be vulnerable.
Yes Penny, fully agree with you! I find that true self-awareness often comes through our closest relationships.
Adding on top of that, trusting someone enough to show them that vulnerability is where real personal, growth happens. It’s not always easy, but it’s so worth it for the insights and deeper understanding of ourselves.
Agreed. It is always easier to see the shadow in others. At 61 I have learned to see the shadows then check myself for the same.
For sure. Our darker sides will emerge to a greater or lesser extent when we engage with others. If we are self aware, have the humility to be self critical, and have the framework to understand it as evil, we see that side, it frightens us, and we tame it.
Thats tricky. In the case of a cluster B personality type, if they are backed into a corner and forced to acknowledge their shadow and that their identitiy is a farce, they can have psychotic episodes.
However, some do get better, supposedly. Depends on the individual.
Gurwinder is correct. The only way to quell these "protesters" is to stop paying attention to them. Rewarding people for awful behavior is infuriating.
Great points, cheers John.
Have you ever considered that people are totally sick of putting up with the profiteers, capitalists and unethical government hacks that continue to KILL and impoverish many people?
We are sick of it! Some tactics may be misguided and ineffective. Some people do nothing at all. We really need much unity, common purpose and perseverance to throw out these bums.
We tolerate it all, moving further to our own extinction.
Yeah, I have.
Look, the world is an outrageous place, and Nietzsche noted that human evil made the world all the more difficult to reside in. Your right, and I think protests are way of expressing such outrage. Maybe, as Gurwinder writes, it has gone too far. Maybe all this outrage is just an equal response to the struggle we are living through today. A generation of people with nothing to triumph over, no great challenge or monster to slay, are so restless, that perhaps kicking and screaming is all there is left to do?
But you are sort of right, it isn't fair. But it's how you respond that matters I suppose.
No great monster? The west is now commiting genocide daily with the entire media and government support. And the conspiracy of silence while they starve one million children is deafening.
You are catastrophizing, Toddler, missing the whole point.
By this logic, what then do we make of someone making an alloy of their personality using Occam's Razor as base metal?
Charity, well said.
The idea of not feeding the black wolf within us is such a clear reminder of how our choices—what we click on, what we engage with—shape not just our mindset but the world around us.
I find that it’s about choosing maturity and responsibility over instant gratification. I guess it's human nature, after all.
I wrote a post which goes more into depth in this:
https://appliedpsych.substack.com/p/nothing-on-the-internet-is-real
How is that a first step?
People aren't going to do that.
This is an important read for those who probably will not take the time to read it. And so, the cycle continues. Here we are in an echo chamber of moderates who attempt to engage and enlighten those who have gulped the Kool-Aid chosen a side and refuse to hear alternative ideas and possible compromises. This type of logic seems to me to be the antidote, but the question is how to deliver it in a way that breaks thru to the masses? I agree that a large "Silent Majority" have these sympathies but as said no major outlet for broadcast. Sitting here fiddling while watching the fire.
"This is an important read for those who probably will not take the time to read it." - That's the truth.
It's frustrating to feel like we're all stuck in an echo chamber, trying to reach people who’ve already made up their minds.
From my experiences, the challenge of breaking through and delivering logic and reason to the masses is real.
It’s like watching a fire and not knowing how to put it out.
Effective education should engage students during the critical period of early cognitive development, when foundational imprinting occurs. It is essential to cultivate critical thinking skills, nurture a sense of curiosity, and emphasize the importance of self-reflection. Additionally, fostering qualities such as temperance and forgiveness within a communal learning environment can instill a strong sense of belonging. This holistic approach could help students develop not only intellectually but also emotionally and socially.
Difficult to do in places that encourage home schooling, especially if they’re linked to a particular religion community. Critical thinking skills are not high on the list of potential subjects for homeschooling nor most religions. Note I said *most*.
One sided argument in regard to Israel & Palestine - Palestinians have been oppressed & marginalized & fotrgotten by the majority of the world since 1948
I think you are correct. Our educational systems often do it wrong. Individual teachers do help. Kids in the US are too into consumer culture, a situation sold to everyone by capitalism. Parents are often indoctrinated also. Now we hear about taking phones during school. That ought to have been the rule from the beginning.
I think Mick Lynch does a good job of communicating these sorts of moderate, mature approaches to political debate and ideas in a digestible way. Rory Stewart also, though he tends to be a bit more long-winded.
Precisely. Only the enraged & radical get listened to. Success is what will bring it to an end. Promote the winning side. It’s so much happier. Put the solutions in people’s pockets & ride the wave of optimism. Move from the dark side to the bright side…wouldn’t that be nice
Banger as always. Neotoddlers is a great term. There is another major difference between left and right wing protestors.
The left not only receives institutional narrative support for their causes, but they also have much more funding from dark money NGOs and receive much more lenient treatment from two-tiered justice systems. They typically protest more abstract harms like climate change and hate speech, while anyone who gets upset about violent deaths is smeared as "far right". As you pointed out, the wealth disparity is glaring.
It is important to mention that the UK unrest was caused by the brutal stabbing deaths of 3 innocent little girls. For decades, government and media have set the narrative that it's racist/Islamophobic to mention decades of Muslim grooming gangs and other deaths at the hands of migrants like the Manchester arena bombing, London Bridge stabbing, Lee Rigby, etc. Free speech and debate over genuine concerns have been suppressed and censored. It is a far cry from the campus neotoddlers whinging about their luxury beliefs.
The "protestors" are not responding to the stabbings of the three girls. The murderer was not a Muslim, yet the "protestors" have been vandalizing mosques and attacking Muslims. Attacking people should be inexcusable even if you agree with the politics of the attackers.
If, like me, you oppose mass immigration and think multiculturalism is a failure, then for that reason alone you should oppose the riots. According to YouGov surveys (linked in the essay), the rioters have achieved nothing but turn the public against them, by reinforcing the stereotype that people critical of multiculturalism are violent thugs. Instead of making it easier to convince people about these issues, the rioters have made it harder!
Thanks for your thoughtful response, Gurwinder. Highly recommend listening to the recent Triggernometry episode with UK Detective Peter Bleksley, which delves into the nuances. I have never supported riots or inexcusable physical violence. The point is that a government that repeatedly fails protect its most vulnerable little girls has failed. Instead of promoting open discourse on problems and solutions, they double down on suppression. The protests are the result of decades of crimes, two-tiered justice, and rhetoric that have not been adequately addressed. We all want peace, but the downward spiral will continue under the status quo, which sadly appears to be the case.
You are totally correct about all of that. The protesters have years worth of legitimate grievances and the government has ignored them and persecuted or prosecuted those who bring it up. I wholly agree that these people are in a different category than others mention in this article.
You’re right—when a government fails to protect its most vulnerable, it’s not just a failure, it’s a betrayal. It’s like there’s a boiling point that gets reached when people feel unheard and unprotected for so long.
I like to think that peace is the goal, but without addressing these deep-seated issues, it’s hard to see how that can happen. I’ll definitely check out that episode with Peter Bleksley.
Thanks for the recommendation!
"thoughtful response"? No reply to the correction and now dancing around your statement to the "the UK unrest was caused by...." Followed by the negativity towards Muslims.
We're all biased, I know. But I'm not too keen on this idea of multiculturalism not being able to work. It's worked fairly well in the USA, with issues over our short history to be certain. But, it most certainly doesn't help when everyone sings the same anti culture du jour. The Brits did it to the Germans when we arrived in the US , then we did it to the Italian's, they did it to the Irish, and of course everyone did it against the Blacks. And here we are in 2024 with some groups worldwide claiming they're lighter skinned than the other. Perhaps it's simply my own bias viewing things differently or it might be the peace loving hippie in me wishing humans could have the capacity for love and peace. Certainly we've had thousands of decades of practice by now.
Certainly.
And therein lies the key, we either choose to get along (worldwide) or we CHOOSE war. Simple really. IMHO
Hi Gurwinder, you are making an error if you group all UK protesters into the same tub. Check out Wesley Winter’s man-on-the-street interviews at the ‘Enough is Enough’ protest in Westminster a few days after the initial rioting in impoverished Southport UK community. These protesters within train ride to London were treated quite unfairly, no doubt an over reaction. They were legitimate grievances aired by ‘normal citizens’ [working class], and cops cornered, provoked crowd then arrested them all - including Wesley!
The UK government (succession of them) have opened borders to many illegal immigrant brown skinned people, housed them alongside white native poor and done this for years. This is the result. The 3 girls were just the ‘George Floyd’ spark - allow mass voice to deep societal issues.
https://youtu.be/B0X4uPjcEsE?si=VGNZIUmgVdwn4o9u
Please reference your point about “two-tiered justice”
You are correct about what protesters acheive. And that is becuase much of the time the media is determined to create a narrative that useful idiots like you promote.
Who has Musk, Putin and Reform millionaire in their corner?
Oligarchs and enemies of democracy always use bored boorish tossers trying to out do one another's infantile behaviour to create chaos.
Yes because the only possible reason the British people would object to being replaced in their own lands is that they're getting stirred up by Putler.
There is no difference between left and right wing protesters. Special pleading for your own toddlers. One side isn't evil. Both sides have pathological individuals and pathological group dynamics.
Agree there isn’t a lot of difference between Antifa, Anarchists and Proud Boys. Now, do you see how I label these particular ‘protesters’ with specificity, rather than just ‘protesters’?
I wonder how the MSM would label the 2010 Occupy Wall Street protests if they repeated again? Would they be called ‘far right’ and ‘facists’ like ‘working class UK protesters’ were labeled over past several weeks? Or how Trudeau and his friendly 4th estate labeled the Covid Convoy Truckers also in ‘far right’ language?
No one else grooms do they...?
Just "muslims"?
"Responding" to tragedy by acting like boorish yobs... the killer was Christian and born here.
Nonsense.
The point is that there is a certain type of large scale grooming that has been ignored and obscured by the police and authorities for years, including threats being made to whistleblowers and the victims by those who should have been protecting them. Obviously the Southport murders had nothing to do with that, but it all feeds into the rage that has morphed into the idiocy of the last few days.
Just as Brexit would probably not have happened if a few of those responsible for the 2008 crash had been imprisoned as they should have been, the chances of what has happened now would have been greatly reduced if the grooming scandals in Rotherham, Rochdale and Telford etc had been dealt with proportionately. And I don't just mean with consequences for the perpetrators, but also their enablers in the police, social services and councils.
Good point about Brexit and 2008 crash. No jail. Gave some of the businesses money, as a matter of fact.
Large scale grooming has always been around. White european males getting pissy about different cultures and ethnicities doing it to 'their' women is laughable. Its abhorrent. Whoever does it. Racist judicial and enforcement systems have historically been quicker to seek it out when perpetrated by 'other'. 'other' is more readily profiled and targeted not more/less likely to engage in abhorrent behaviour. This stuff is complex. There are no simple answers. Mass frustration at the absence of instant fixes, while perhaps understandable, is still wrongheaded. But those in power fan that frustration when it suits them, to divide and rule. Its a story as old as time.
The killer is a Rwandan schizo. Where he was born is perfectly irrelevant. He shouldn't be in the country.
His parents are immigrants from Rwanda. He's a British born citizen.
Who cares what his passport says?
His ancestry is relevant because of the generational trauma he will doubtless have experienced. His parents probably came over as refugees, seeking asylum for the terrors of their own country. Are we to turn away those who need our help when our empire building doubtless contributed to the origin of their continents psychosis? Are we to refuse our shared humanity? To not give safety to those in need when we can? These are questions I ask myself. All the time. Humans are complex, weak, difficult, amazing, adaptable, damaged. I dont know the answers. Only that we have to keep trying.
If his parents had been turned away, three little White girls would be alive today. Spare us the tears. This pathological empathy for the Other has led to nothing but ruin.
Your comment re two tier justice is easily disproven - the just stop oil members got longer sentences for being on a zoom call than the far right mobs got for attempting to burn down immigration hotels 🤷
Bang on. As a human rights advocate, I've watched for years as social justice organizations become infiltrated and ruined by neo-toddlers. Once even one of these "folx" gets in, you can't get rid of them. Instead (since many are narcissists), they will bully any voices of reason right out of the group, usually by claiming they are oppressors over some imagined bullshit.
A social justice organization must be VERY vigilant in its hiring, delegation & promotion to prevent this.
My own organization, which I co-founded, has also faced attack from outside--mass trolling from "folx" seeking to undermine the group because we refused to cede leadership to several neo-toddlers and instead showed them the door.
It becomes exhausting and a lot of good people leave human rights work as a result. :(
Exactly! The problem with ignoring the behaviour is that eventually sane people leave and the neotoddlers are promoted into running the place. From then on its game over in terms of getting any remotely sane discourse.
Sounds just like national politics really doesn't it. Led by narcissists
It's human nature, after all.
I think any organization with sane goals needs some thugs in its midst who show lunatics the door and arent afraid to do so with force, as this is often the only language they understand
Yup. And it's not real difficult! Just gotta have a smidgen of courage.
Those organizations are the perfect stage for their productions and manipulations. They are skilled at hijacking the well intended, who fill those organizations. It seems that a uniquely strongly mission and strong, unapologetic, decisive leadership are prerequisite to resist take over, coopting, and destruction. Sadly, those are hard traits to come by, hard to maintain, hard to nurture. I suspect it has frequently been a lonely, tortured existence for the good founders and leaders.
It initially does feel lonely--until one untangles the historic mistake of grassroots work: over-relying on consensus and coalition with other advocacy groups. It is actually freeing to be canceled; it forces a new way of thinking, better use of time, ability to create new relationships with private sector and to more directly deal with govts and other stakeholders.
One realizes, then, how much "coalition work" can hold you back as an organization. Likewise the emotional labour of appeasing cancel culture within one's own group. Being canceled, in the end, is a great gift. I'd recommend it for any organization.
Did you hear what happened? Some group of fools dressed as natives destroyed an entire shipment of East Indian tea. Whatever for? Those infantiles!
You might be on to something.
The reason we see so many protests that you style "neotoddlerism" is because governments in the West are so unresponsive to citizens, other than presenting voters every few years with a choice between a couple of carefully curated corporate imperialist muppets. You can choose between Team R Tweedledee and Team D Tweedledum! If you don't like it, wait another four years and do it again, because neither one of them listens to you.
Basically, taking into account how wildly unpopular western politicians and their policies are, this is the only way to make governments pay attention.
As for your insinuations of Russian influence, I suppose no Russian ever may express an opinion regarding western political developments, lest some unsuspecting American come across that opinion and be led astray.
"governments in the West are so unresponsive to citizens" - this is exactly the *opposite* of what's true: Western governments run up deficits because they are terrified of raising taxes while expanding benefits, kicking the can down the road. They do what's tepidly possible on climate change because more radical moves would decimate the economy (surveys show citizens don't actually want to *pay anything* to stop climate change). What you fail to understand is that the vast majority of citizens in the West don't give a shit about your particular pet cause and want what's most comfortable and predictable for them. Politicians are doing exactly what the Western masses want, no matter how contradictory or short-sighted it might be. Until you recognize that, you don't really understand how the world works.
Deficits have been rising, but benefits have not.
MutterFodder, I think you and Feral Finster are both correct.
I suppose western governments should just unquestioningly follow the orders of whoever screams loudest then?
They should listen to citizens, at least if they wish to maintain the pretense of democracy.
Screaming seems to be the only way the average frustrated non-oligarch can get their attention.
Right but should they listen to destructive loudmouths or the quiet majority?
They don't listen to either.
This. "Every child begins life throwing tantrums. And every good parent learns to ignore them, because they know that acknowledging attention-seeking behaviors validates them, and prevents their kids from outgrowing them. If we wish to stop seeing good causes ruined by bad actors, we must stop rewarding immaturity. If we wish to usher in an age of post-toddlerism, we must stop making neotoddlers famous."
First off, this is outstanding analysis. Agreement-Bias Alert: Of course I think so, since I tend to agree with you so often!
Secondly, a few decades ago, I took a class in "performance management" which was, at the time, a corporate buzzword. While I have forgotten many of the tenets of the practice, one concept remains burned into my psyche. That concept feeds into the malady of neotoddlerism wonderfully. When one wants to stop a behavior being encountered from one of his team members, either privately, but more likely publicly, i.e., in meetings, he can employ a practice known as "extinguishing the behavior." This is, put simply, ignoring the assholery. As you note, this is EXACTLY the same practice as patient parents use with tantrum-throwing toddlers. However, there is a downside. Typically, before the behavior is extinguished, it gets worse. The kid cries more loudly. The tantrum gets worse. Same is typically true of adults whose poor behavior we seek to extinguish. Long story short, before we can rid ourselves of these neotoddlers, specifically if we seek to extinguish their poor behavior via patient ignoring, their B.S. will probably get worse. Human nature is a funny thing.
I learned this technique as well in parenting, then management, and finally in dog training. Then we adopted a reactive dog that if he was a person would have been labeled an asshole. We dutifully ignored his outbursts and it sort of improved, but he was a handful. I found a new trainer who worked with difficult dogs and she was a retired Army officer. She told me that assholes need to receive the information that they are assholes. That doesn’t mean punishment—it means they need to receive the information that the action they just took was wrong. She taught me a couple of verbal cues to use on the dog—basically a low growling sound that delivered a “stop it” message in a way a dog can understand. Behaviors (wild barking at any other dog) that had gone on for years got extinguished in a month of exposure, feedback, etc.
Neotoddlers need the same information from the culture—cut that shit out. Then you can ignore them. Kamala Harris delivered a great master class in the “don’t make me pull this car over” approach to Gaza protesters yesterday: https://youtu.be/HkI-naIncpY?si=4i3l54vWaOmf4-IW
I may have to try that growling thing with Baby Girl Dog when she's being obnoxious. Thank you so much!
Neotoddlerism is a great word, and it resonates with Cory Doctorow's enshitification. The enshitification of the Internet gave us the tools that enable the neotoddlers. Ignoring their behavior to deprive them of attention is a good strategy, but they should not escape the consequences of their actions that result in harming people or destroying property. Arrests that don't result in prosecution only encourage further bad behavior.
The problem with Doctorow's "enshitification" is that is assumes costs are linear. When in reality they are more exponential.
The problem with Doctorow’s “enshittification” is that it’s not actually Doctorow’s.
Really love this quote: "What we need are clear, specific, and realistic plans of action. And the neotoddlers, being impulsive short-term thinkers, have only broad demands but no rational way to achieve them."
It feels like practicality and pragmatism have been on the decline from society for a while now. This trend didn't start with the smartphone, but the smartphone certainly made this worse.
Phil, I couldn’t agree more.
The decline in practicality and pragmatism is noticeable, and while it didn’t start with smartphones, they’ve definitely amplified it. It's like we've become more focused on instant reactions and broad demands, but less on thoughtful, actionable plans.
It’s a real challenge in today’s world, where impulsiveness often overshadows careful, rational thinking.
Did an LLM write this?
It's not about "careful, rational thinking" at all.
It's about accepting the bad with the good, understanding tradeoffs, and making the best bad decision. It's about being willing to be imperfect.
No.
S.O.L did. But to your points, thank you for the lesson.
Sorry, I was a little mean there.
Love the rawness.
Good piece, I’d suggest that it’s a part of a great infantilization of adults in greater society as well. Somewhere over the past 30 years, our culture has become generally more childish. I’ve often been reminded of the princess and the pea fairy tail when thinking of current western society. We’re so comfortable that even a pea under 12 mattresses is too much discomfort for us to handle. Small discomfort’s seem like life or death to someone that’s never had to deal with actual life or death situations. I’ve also heard it referred to as the “silk shoes” period of empires, which usually precedes their downfall (That’s Dan Carlin’s term). I’m just glad I’m old enough that my rides more than half over and that I was lucky enough to have lived during a time where the world was mostly getting better.
Fabulous article @Gurwinder - thank you! This ‘todder’ behaviour is driven by emotions and feelings vs thought.
There are therefore no opportunities for critical thought, reflection or learning.
They are simply using only one aspect of their brain and ignoring the aspect that allowed us to develop a sophisticated civilisation and well-functioning society.
Not hard to guess where we’re headed if this situation doesn’t change.
Outstanding observations, as always.
As covered before, the media is incentivized to use outrage and anger in it's quest for our attention. So, as we continue to react to the neotoddlerism, we keep the vicious cycle going.
I have failed in corporate environments when outbursts of dissatisfaction appear from folks not getting exactly what they want. Any substantial reply, even one stemming from basic human empathy, serves only to provide further oxygen to the fire and keep it spreading.
As with the neotoddlers, our human psychology to care for those seemingly in distress (or in adult diapers) is being abused for the wrong purposes.
Brilliant. I've been trying to articulate this in my own head for months. And failed. Thank you for doing it for me.
Also, great point about how the plastic recycling person ( forgot the name already) had done so much more good then Greta. The attention given to these climate activists is entirely disproportionate to those doing the research and devising solutions in the background. Think you should do a deep dive on this topic.
I enjoy reading articulate thoughtful essays and this was one of them. Do think your solution is a bit simplistic though because click-bait is built into the economic model of digital formats. More effective on individual basis would be reconnecting behavior with consequences. If neotoddlers have short narcissistic attention spans, then perhaps even-handed justice systems that reacquaint them with the consequences of their behavior would eventually stamp out luxury beliefs and refocus activism towards solutions....maybe not. Big ask of the liberal media and social democracies to be even-handed.
Will add your Substack to the recommendation section of my own.
Dick Minnis
removingthecataract.substack.com
Thanks for the recommendation!
Justice is obviously important, but prevention is better than cure. The reason clickbait is built into the economic model of digital formats is that we're suckers for clickbait. So the only long-term solution is to not be suckers for clickbait, imo.
Yes... but...
I expect that there will always (for some value of "always") be a market for clickbait, even if it is only among the neotoddlers of whichever faction and their sympathizers, and that market will be large enough to attract advertisers. If that's the case, the economics of media will continue to direct attention to the protests and demonstrations, rather than the quiet successes and moderate compromises. The solution is akin to "just say no" - which was not a very successful approach.
All that said, it was a great piece, and a terrific identification of the problem - thank you!
Brilliant piece! Being a Kindergarten teacher and nana, I would propose that ACTual toddlers differ in the fact that they don't hate other people (....in "palestine" they learn it), and they are fun and loving most of the time. But Neotoddlerist behaviour - without doubt - is a THING!
""Palestine?""
When another country with one of the world's largest militaries drops hundreds of thousands of bombs on you while cutting off your food and water, you don't learn animosity. The people bombing and starving you, even starving and killing their own hostages to do it, while their leaders openly state it is morally just that they do so, teach you animosity by example. Your English teacher would mark this up for passive voice.
Amimosity is what a regime already has if they can openly, publicly plan to sell off your land while they have their military kill thousands of you in another region entirely. While hundreds of thousands of their own people, including hostage families, risk their livelihoods to protest and try to stop the regime from doing it. Animosity is what a regime desperately tries to drum up among its people when it is facing prison time for a whole host of crimes the second the regime ends.
Such a weird, catty, infantile comment on a post about infantilism.
History didn’t start on October 8th.
The school curriculum throughout the Middle East would put Goebbels to shame. Radicalization is precisely what led to the tragic events over the past year, not what resulted from it. I'd recommend you look into what these children are being taught - it has no equal anywhere on Earth (including North Korea). Germany and Japan never would have become the nations they are today if not both disavowed of this same seething fanaticism which calls Gaza home.
Only through a recognition of one another's humanity can we elevate ourselves above the muck in which we find ourselves.
No, history did not start on October 8th. Okay...?
Are you supporting leadership that is *capable* of furthering the recognition of one another's shared humanity? Or are you supporting the Netanyahu regime, a far-right authoritarian regime that actively maximizes conflict and artificially props up other far-right authoritarian regimes just so it always has an enemy to fight, with the full backing of a US military that is HEAVILY responsible for the rise of the far-right authoritarian regimes you are rightly concerned about in other countries?
I'm certainly no fan of the Netanyahu regime. His policies directly led to the calamity of October 7th and everything that followed.
But the seeds of the last year's events were planted decades prior by the Muslim Brotherhood. Its revanchist ideology and seething extremism is well-known to regional players like the Saudis, Bahrainis, Jordanians, Emiratis, etc, yet somehow completely whitewashed by their apologists in the West.
I do wonder why.
Palestinian society needs to be deradicalized. This is not a novel concept. It happened in Germany and Japan and was an absolute necessity for any semblance of a peaceful future to take root.
Failure to deradicalize the Confederate South led directly to the KKK and Jim Crow and has reverberations still felt today.
Great article. Love the term neotoddlerism. A few years ago here in Seattle there were climate activists blocking an oil rig on the sound. They arrived at the rig on their kayaks. Guess what kayaks are made from?
All the angel wings were booked that morning so we had to use plastic kayaks instead. We'll try and be better organised next time.